Scorpios – Understanding the Sign

Let me begin by cautioning readers that simply because a person is born under the Sun Sign of Scorpio does not mean that he or she will have all of the traits usually associated with Scorpios.  Serious astrology is much more complex than that.  The position of the Moon (which is said to affect emotions and desires), the positions of the planets in houses, and so forth all matter.  Furthermore, astrology is not the only thing that affects someone’s personality.  We are all affected by our life experiences, our associations and connections with family, friends, and a slew of other people.  Astrology, in my opinion, is only another tool to understand yourself and others. That is also the opinion of those who practice psychological astrology which is largely based on the findings of Carl Jung, the father of analytical psychology.

That being said, Scorpio is probably the most misunderstood sign of the zodiac.  Almost everyone automatically associates the sign with words such as “hot-tempered” and “passionate”, and many people make the mistake of assuming that “passionate” refers only to a Scorpio’s sexual nature.  However, the passion of a Scorpio extends far beyond the bedroom.  A true Scorpio is passionate about almost anything that he/she considers important, which can range from world politics to the dress that she absolutely must have or the video game that he’s intent on winning.  They feel and speak in terms of “love” and “hate” whether they are describing a pair of shoes or a movie or a political candidate.  “Wishy-washy” is not a term that applies to a true Scorpio.

 When it does come to sexual matters, Scorpios are not born great lovers; they learn like everyone else.  Many just seem to learn faster and have greater stamina than most.  But sex and love are two very different things to a true Scorpio.  To have their bodies does not mean that you’ve won their hearts.  Even if they exhibit jealousy and possessiveness, it does not necessarily mean that they love you.  Scorpios are territorial by nature and they don’t like feeling  as though someone has crossed the boundaries that they set.  Or their behavior could simply be a result of their egos being bruised.  They are indeed a paradox because for all their emotional intensity and the fact that their relationships seem to involve so much drama, most true Scorpios seek peace in love — internal peace at the level of their souls. 

 Scorpio is the only sign of the zodiac that has two ruling planets–Mars and Pluto (now considered a non-planet but still there)–AND is associated with two symbols:  the earth-bound Scorpion and the more exalted Eagle.  (Some astrologers, such as Linda Goodman, have also added a third symbol–the gray lizard–to describe those who fall somewhere between the Scorpion and the Eagle.) 

The Scorpion represents Scorpio’s raw, earthbound nature which is associated with all of those keywords that pop into the minds of those who think that they know this sign–sensual, passionate, unforgiving, revengeful, powerful.   They have a kind of magnetism that attracts people to them and some of them have become quite skilled at fooling people into thinking that they are friendly, charming, and gracious, often witty and funny.   But their true nature is very different than the persona they often display to the world.   They have learned how to survive–even thrive–in the world that they are forced to live in, but they have always known that they are different than most people.   So while many people might call a Scorpio a friend, there are very few people that a Scorpio considers a true friend.  A true friend is someone who you can share your innermost secrets with and Scorpios find it difficult to share the secrets that lie deep within their hearts.  They doubt that many would understand and they feel that most people can’t be trusted with those secrets.   Whether it’s because they experienced some sort of betrayal early in their lives (they have extremely long memories) or have only witnessed the betrayal of others, the fact remains–Scorpios do not trust easily.   When it comes to love, trust remains an issue.  “Complete trust is a difficult thing for a Scorpio to achieve, even in matters of the heart; perhaps especially in matters of the heart since being in love made one more vulnerable to extreme hurt and disappointment.”  (from “Scorpio Love” by S.Tamanaha)

 In all fairness to Scorpios, though, it should be mentioned that their distrust often stems from the fact that they are extremely sensitive souls.  They feel more intensely than most other signs and an act of betrayal wounds them deeply–it injures their hearts and scars their souls.  This is why when they are injured, they find it difficult, often impossible, to forgive.  Also, once injured, they become reluctant to fully trust their hearts and souls to another again.  Some Scorpios turn bitter and poison all of their relationships with that bitterness.  They keep their relationships shallow so as not to feel intense emotions and sometimes turn to alcohol and narcotics to numb the pain.  They can become obsessed with revenge which, in their minds, is really justice.  They become the classic example of the dark earthbound Scorpion who self-destructs.  Think of that old story about the scorpion who asked a frog (or a crocodile in some versions) for a ride across the river and then stung the frog when they were in the middle of the river.  “Why did you do that?” the dying frog asked.  “Now we will both die.”  “I could not help myself,” the Scorpion replied.  “It is my nature.”   But if you think that you can help this type of Scorpio see the error of his/her ways,—if you think that you can be the one to rescue them from themselves,—think twice and then think some more.  Rather than you lifting them up, these Scorpios will often drag you down into that dark place where they reside.  The truth is, Scorpios must heal themselves.  They have the power to do so.  They can decide to become that exalted Eagle.  But THEY must decide. 

 When they are troubled, they tend to brood.   This is a trait that arises out of their inability to trust which makes them hesitant to confide in others.  As a result, they have gotten into the habit of working out their problems on their own in their minds.   Also, the truth is that no one else’s opinion matters much to them.  It’s not that they are arrogant.  It’s simply that they aren’t the type to take a course of action because it’s considered the right thing to do by other people.  They want to make up their own minds.  They are also stubborn and don’t like to be told what they can and cannot do.  They’re not trying to be rebellious or difficult.  They are just fully aware of their abilities and their limitations.  They are also fully aware of their faults but they don’t appreciate it if someone else points those faults out to them. 

They are also blessed (some would say cursed) with a kind of sixth sense–an ability to see the motives behind the actions and words of others.  It’s not magic or a form of ESP.  They can’t read minds although it appears that way sometimes.  It’s just that they have an extremely keen sense of perception and strong intuitive powers.  They study people (that’s often the reason behind that infamous Scorpio stare)  and they can feel which ones are being pretentious or untruthful, which ones you can trust and which ones you should stay away from.  For some Scorpios, this sixth sense seems to be something that they were born with.  For others, it develops over time.  Whether you call it intuition or just being tuned in to people’s “vibes”, all true Scorpios have it.   This is the reason why it’s difficult to lie to a Scorpio–they can feel that something is wrong.  They may not know what it is exactly, but they know.  And then they will begin to investigate, to question, to test their theory.  If they find out that they were right–and they always find out–then betrayer beware.   Almost everyone has heard about Scorpio’s temper but it’s often what happens after the explosion that can be even more unnerving.  Wrongdoers who are lucky (if you can call it that), will simply cease to exist in Scorpio’s mind.  They become ghosts.  If the betrayer is at a party or some other gathering with that same Scorpio, the Scorpio will look right through the betrayer as though that person was a pane of glass.  Or the Scorpio may seek revenge.  What form that revenge takes depends on the Scorpio involved.   Some become so obsessed with getting even that they simply won’t care if what they are doing will injure others or even themselves.  Remember the scorpion and the frog?

The Eagle, a symbol of courage and power, represents a more evolved Scorpio.  This Scorpio has learned to rise above the kind of behavior that other Scorpios engage in which often proves to be self-destructive.  Scorpio-Eagles still possess a Scorpio’s basic nature, but they have a clearer vision and more awareness of their power and they have learned how to use that power to improve themselves so that they can be more like the Eagle–majestic, courageous, and free.  Some astrologers have also used the Phoenix to describe this exalted nature of Scorpio–that mythical bird who can die in flames and then rise renewed from its own ashes.  This is actually an apt description of a Scorpio for no matter how dark their past might be, how many mistakes they have made, they have the power to rise again and start fresh.   

        Here’s an example of the difference between an earthbound Scorpio and one who is an Eagle:  A relationship doesn’t work out.  The earthbound Scorpio will do everything in his/her power to “get even” with the mate who betrayed them (even though it’s often the Scorpio’s own jealous and possessive nature that contributed to the failed relationship).  I know one Scorpio woman who spent thousands of dollars to fight her spouse in court over possession of a few pieces of furniture–not because she wanted them but because she knew that he did.  The Scorpio-Eagle, on the other hand, might feel the same anger but will be able to see the bigger picture.  “Spend thousands to go to court over furniture?  Why?  Doesn’t that mean that I’ll have to see him again?  I’d rather spend those dollars on me.  I spent all those years helping him, thinking only of him; now it’s time to take care of me.  I’ll go to the gym, buy some nice clothes, and claim back my life and my individuality.  Let the bimbo that he fooled around with have him.  She actually did me a favor because if he can’t be trusted, then he doesn’t deserve me.  I know that there’s a man out there who will appreciate me and love me as I deserve to be loved.”  This Scorpio-Eagle will prefer never to see her “ex” again but if she is forced to because of children and visitation rights, she’ll make sure that every time her “ex” stops by to pick up the kids, she’s looking better than ever.  

 See the difference?  Scorpio-Eagles still retain a Scorpio’s basic nature – the intense emotions, the desire for revenge – but do not allow those emotions and desires to control them.  They will not allow depression or self-pity to immobilize them; to do so would be the same as allowing the “enemy”, the person who hurt them, to win, and Scorpios do not like to lose.  They will not commit senseless acts of revenge that could destroy their own lives.  Any acts of revenge that they engage in will also benefit them in the long run.  If someone tells them that they can’t make it on their own or that they are unattractive or unintelligent, they will use their power to prove those people wrong and improve their own lives as a result.  Eagles do not run and hide from adversity or problems or pretend that those problems don’t exist.  (That would make them like ostriches – a bird whose wings are useless and who are fast runners but choose to become immobilized when faced with real danger.)  True Eagles face their problems and then use their inner power to conquer any obstacles so that they can finally fly free.  Like the eagle who soars high above the earth, the Scorpio-Eagle is able to rise above all that chains others to the ground and to see the bigger picture.


Posted on 07/27/2013, in Astrology, Scorpio and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 2 Comments.

  1. my scorpio man is so stubborn, insensitive, extravagant…you cannot control him for he does not want to be controlled. he will do just what he wants to do. he says this one thing but does the other. recently, this valentine’s day, he chose to attend a class reunion with another woman and said that he is old for valentine’s day and that i should not dwell on it as well. he said it’s none of my business who he wants to take along or who he wants to go out with for that matter and he does not have to tell me anything – where he goes, whom he is with… i am hurting by this kind of attention he is doing to me. are these really traits of a scorpio man?

    • As I point out in my website dedicated to Scorpios – – the fact that someone is born under the Sun Sign of Scorpio does not automatically make them a true Scorpio. From an astrological point of view, there are many other factors to consider – the placement of his other signs, the aspects between those signs, the houses in which those signs lie, and so forth.
      However, let’s assume that your man is a true Scorpio. In the section regarding “Scorpio Men”, I wrote: “If you’re a woman interested in a Scorpio man, you should be forewarned as well–a double standard exists. He is jealous by nature, but he does not like to be possessed and can have a flirtatious nature. He can show interest in those females who are wild and sleazy–he is sensual and while single and free can be easily seduced. However, make no mistake–it wasn’t the woman who won that game. She may believe that she overpowered him with her feminine wiles but the truth is, he allowed it. Yet, for a real relationship, he wants a woman who is respectable and beyond reproach. He wants someone that he can trust; someone whose heart and soul belong only to him. He can be extremely bossy but will not be controlled, especially by a woman. That doesn’t mean that he wants a submissive woman. He wants a woman who is emotionally strong–she’ll have to be to put up with his moods and his temper and to be able to stand her ground, if need be, against that temper–but he doesn’t want someone who is outwardly aggressive or who tries to be or appears to be in control. He is the man and he needs to feel that he is the dominant one and in control. Don’t try to lecture him about equality of the sexes or his double standards. He is often fully aware that his attitude may not be completely fair. But if he changes his ways, it has to be HIS decision. And he’s not opposed to doing just that–for the right woman.
      Don’t be anything but truthful with him and don’t play games–don’t try to make him jealous or think that you can manipulate him into doing what you want him to do. He, too, has that sixth sense and he’ll know if you’re playing games. If he does believe that games are being played, he might exhibit that infamous Scorpio temper or, even worse, he might decide to play those games and turn the tables on you. He’s a great game player, but he’ll usually play those games only with women he isn’t really serious about—or when he’s on a mission to get even with someone. Besides, the truth is, you can’t make a Scorpio do anything that he really doesn’t want to do. He can be obliging if it’s something that he doesn’t really care about but if he feels strongly about something, no amount of nagging, tears, or threats will make him budge. In fact, you might find that resorting to those kinds of tactics, which might work on other signs, usually backfires when used on a Scorpio. Irritate him enough and he’ll do exactly opposite of what you want.” Does this sound familiar?
      You say that your man cannot be controlled which indicates to me that you’ve tried and, assuming that he’s a true Scorpio, the behavior that he’s exhibiting now towards you is typical of a Scorpio who is rebelling against your efforts to control him and who is sending you a very clear message – he will not do what you want him to do or feel how you want him to feel just because you want it. Whether his actions are intended to teach you a lesson or to actually push you out of his life is difficult to say since you provided no details about your relationship. You call him “my scorpio man” but the truth is, he might not feel like your man – he might not be emotionally committed to you – and he doesn’t like the idea that you believe he belongs to you. A Scorpio man will give his heart only when HE is ready. Even if he’s intimate with you, it does not mean that he’s committed. Having his body does not mean that you have his heart or his soul.
      But let’s take astrology out of the picture for a minute and stop focusing on him. Instead, try focusing on yourself. Ask yourself why you feel that you love this man when he’s treating you this way? Is this the kind of man who will make you happy in the long run? Are you just obsessed with landing this guy because he’s so elusive? In my opinion, too many people spend too much valuable time chasing after a person just because they feel that they’re going to “win” something. Women chase those players because in the back of their minds they believe that if they can change that person, make him commit, then they’ve been able to succeed in doing what none of those other women could. It makes them feel that they are somehow better than their rivals. In many cases, men feel the same way when they chase after that popular, sexy woman who all the other guys are lusting after. In the end, however, what exactly do these people win? Most players tend to always be players, especially when they get older and feel that they have to prove to themselves that they still have “it”. And a relationship based solely on physical attributes can never be enduring since looks are transitory – everyone gets old. Some people equate great sex with love but what happens if one or both of them can no longer engage in sex? Some people simply want someone because they can’t stand the idea of being alone, but a bad relationship can make you feel completely lonely and miserable. So what’s the only good reason to be with someone? As the female character in “Scorpio Love” explains “Love. Real love. The kind of love that comes from the soul. The kind of love that isn’t dependent on money or sex or looks or changing someone into something you want them to be or satisfying some other self-centered need. When two people really love each other, they’ll support and encourage each other, respect each other, do things for each other, want what’s best for each other, and it’s all done freely, not because they have to or they’re asked to or are expected to. They simply want to because it makes them happy to see the other person happy. … People who are really in love share their thoughts, their feelings, their hopes and dreams, and their problems and fears, even when it’s hard to do sometimes, because they know that sharing a lifetime is more than just sharing a bed. And whatever problems come along, they face those problems together because together they are stronger than apart.” Does that kind of love really exist? Yes, but it seems that too many people settle too soon for far less or they don’t really know what love is and “fall in love” for all the wrong reasons. So, before you spend any more of your time agonizing over and pursuing this man, whether or not he’s a true Scorpio, be sure of why you seek to have a relationship with him at all.

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