Category Archives: Men

Hillary Clinton – Why She Isn’t Winning In More States

Whenever Hillary Clinton’s unpopularity is discussed, there are three issues that come up repeatedly.  First, the Benghazi incident.  Second, her emails.  Third, the Clinton Foundation.

However, none of those issues is the real basis for her unpopularity.

BENGHAZI:  There were eight hearings held on Benghazi spearheaded by the Republicans which cost the taxpayers millions of dollars.  They were unable to find anything to hold her directly responsible for – and everyone knows how hard the GOP must have tried.

EMAILS:  Tens of thousands reviewed by the FBI and other than the fact that a woman in her 60’s should probably not have assumed that a private server was actually private, should have carried two phones, and should have been more careful,   the FBI found no criminal wrongdoing.  As for the emails now being released by Wikileaks, they are mostly John Podesta’s emails and only show that the Clinton camp was planning political strategy like every other political camp does.  Besides, there are good reasons why those Wikileaks emails are not credible. (See my other post about Julian Assange).

CLINTON FOUNDATION:  Let’s not forget that this Foundation has received 4 stars from both Charity Watch and Charity Navigator, files tax returns as a non-profit, and can and has established that the majority of its funds goes towards solving global problems such as hunger, education, and HIV.  In any case, Hillary Clinton was not part of the Foundation while she served as Secretary of State, was not involved in the sale of the uranium mine to Russia which the media and Trump tried to make a big deal about, and that sale required and received the approval of 8 other government agencies over which she had no control.

Compare all of those things to what Trump has done (the continual lying, the insults hurled against people of color, POWs, a gold star family who lost their son in battle, a federal judge because of his Mexican heritage, the media, other Republicans, and, of course, women, his refusal to release his tax returns, the numerous shady deals made through his Trump Foundation, his tax plan which he says will help the American people but is designed to benefit the rich, his failure as a businessman, his past of discriminating against blacks when renting apartments in his buildings, his disparaging remarks about an Indian tribe when he was trying to prevent them from getting a gaming license, his admission that he has committed sexual assault against women, his most recent claims that everything relating to this election is rigged against him, etc.) and it’s absolutely no contest.  It’s absolutely clear who the liar and crook really is.

So, why is Hillary still so unpopular in so many States?  One article I read suggests that it’s because she doesn’t come across as warm or approachable; no one knows what she does “for fun”.   Another mentioned that she should smile more.  Comments have been made about the pants suits that she wears.  Those comments, whether or not the people who made them realize it, illustrates a major problem that Hillary Clinton faces – gender bias.

As a professional woman who has worked in a field dominated by men, I fully understand the narrow line that Hillary Clinton has to walk.  For example, when a man walks into a meeting to negotiate a deal, he can be brash and aggressive, even condescending, and although many may consider him a jerk, he’s still thought of as strong and a formidable opponent.  If a woman behaves the same way, people will call her a “bitch”, say that she’s being overly emotional, and make remarks about PMS.  And yet, if a woman comes across as caring or too friendly in a male-dominated environment, she’s thought of as “weak”.   I’ve seen it happen time and time again.  Disturbingly, it isn’t only men who feel this way.  A white female supporter of Trump who was interviewed on television  said that when she thinks of a President, she thinks of a man because women have “hormones”.

So many women who are serious about their careers develop a professional persona.   They try to come to meetings more prepared than their male counterparts.  They  try to dress appropriately – not too sexy, not too “mannish”. ( I, too, began wearing pants suits when I heard a man murmur “Hmmm…sexy.” one day as I was passing by his office.  I wasn’t  wearing anything revealing but I was wearing a dress that revealed my legs so I began covering them up.)  They try to ignore stupid comments and even brush off compliments about their appearance.  They are wary about sharing personal information or gushing about a brand new baby or a pet.  At the same time, they need to be concerned about appearing too cold – an “ice queen” is what some men have labeled their female counterparts if they perceive her as not friendly enough.  Their guard is always up.  This may not be who they are in their personal lives, but it’s who they feel they have to be in their professional lives.

So what about Michelle Obama you may ask?  She’s an intelligent and attractive woman, an attorney, who is a dynamic speaker and yet appears approachable.  She dances with Ellen DeGeneres on stage.  She sings karaoke in a car with James Cordon.  People love her as do I.  But it’s unfair to compare these two women.  Michelle Obama has done great work in her private career and has been an exceptional First Lady, but she has never been and does not care to be involved in politics and was even reluctant about her husband’s involvement even though she committed to supporting him.  She seems almost relieved to be leaving the White House.

Hillary Clinton, however, has always been ambitious and politically inclined.  She even kept her own name for a while because she wanted to be a separate person from her husband and was involved in the political arena long before Bill Clinton became President.  Bill Clinton even said that if he was elected, the people would get “two for the price of one”.  And although there are women in high political offices, politics is still very much a male-dominated field where women hold slightly less than 20% of the seats in Congress.

So Hillary Clinton may not be likeable in the warm and cuddly sense – in the ways that you would like to envision a woman of her age to be.  What she is, however, is intelligent, a hard worker, and experienced in navigating the “good old boy” mentality that still pervades politics.  Whether she will be a great President, who knows?  I think that she would try her hardest to be since she has something to prove  and she cares about the kind of legacy that she would leave.  In any case, the worst that she would be is a so-so President.   We’ve had those before.  In fact, we’ve had really bad Presidents before.  Our nation has always managed to survive.  Our nation, however, may not survive if Donald Trump becomes President.

I would like Trump supporters, and those who are still undecided, to try, just for a minute, to put aside their hate and fear and blind faith and disappointment and ask themselves two simple questions:  What would I do if it was a Democratic candidate who had been on that Access Hollywood tape, whose lies were constantly being exposed, who made claims that he/she knew more about ISIS than the generals do, who refused to produce tax returns, who quoted an erroneous Russian propaganda statement as fact, who praised Putin, and who is now claiming that the entire voting system, run independently in 50 States, are all rigged?  Would I still ignore all of that or would I be calling that Democratic candidate unhinged and out of control?

Horrible and unreasonable behavior doesn’t suddenly become justifiable and reasonable because a person and you happen to belong to the same political party.  At football games (and all athletic games), we root for our team no matter what.  It doesn’t matter if we don’t like the coach or a particular player or their performance during the season.  The Presidential election, especially this election, is not a football game.  This is no longer about Republicans vs. Democrats.  I cannot forget the woman in Columbus, Ohio who was interviewed by MSNBC and who said:

“I am voting for the Conservative Party.  And if this jackass just happens to be leading this mule train, so be it.”  (MSNBC  – Sept. 26)

The problem with that is Donald Trump is neither a conservative nor a true Republican.  He has simply slapped a Republican label on his forehead, thereby ensuring himself the vote of people like that woman in Ohio.  But nothing justifies unleashing THIS particular “jackass” on the entire nation in the name of party politics.  I can say one thing without any hesitation:  If Trump was running as a Democrat, I’d be voting Republican.

(c) 2016

“17 Sweet Things Men Do That You Don’t Even Notice” – My Response

This is a response to an article that appeared in Woman’s Day online magazine, which originally appeared on Cosmopolitan.com. I tried to comment on the actual sites.  However, Woman’s Day and Cosmopolitan only allow those with a Facebook account to log in and comment.  I have news for you Woman’s Day and Cosmopolitan – not everyone has or wants a Facebook account.  So I decided to respond here, on my own blog site, even though I am certain that my readership pales in comparison to that of the magazine.  You can find the actual article here:  http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/news/a39806/sweet-things-guys-do-that-you-dont-even-notice/

1. Putting the toilet seat down.   This isn’t a sweet gesture – it’s simple consideration.  And since you had to put it up, why is putting it back down something so hard to remember?  Is your attention span really that short?

2.  Walking on the outside of the street.   It used to be the norm and I don’t see it happening all that much today, but for the guys who still follow this “rule of etiquette”, one point for you.  And I, for one, would notice.

3. Staying up “way too late” talking to her and paying for it the next day. Are you saying that she’s the only one who wants to have a conversation and that you’re only humoring her?  And unless you’ve only been dating unemployed women, did it ever occur to you that she, too, has to get up early the next morning?  In fact, if she wears any makeup and styles her hair, she needs to get up a lot earlier than you.

4. Holding her after a bad dream.  Are you sure you aren’t just holding her in self defense since you found it necessary to mention that you only woke up after she elbowed you in the face?  And unless you sleep like you’re in a coma, I’ll bet there have been several occasions when you’ve nearly broken her nose with your flailing arm.  The only difference is, she was having a bad dream; you were simply shifting your position in bed.  So she didn’t have any reason to hold you and comfort you.    .

5. Trying to impress with feats of strength.  If you’re in need of exhibiting physical strength beyond  your capabilities in an effort to impress a woman, you deserve that sore back.

6. Volunteering to pay even when you’re broke. If you believe that you need to spend more money than you can afford in an effort to impress a woman, you deserve to eat ramen for a week. It always ticks me off when a man assumes that the way to any woman’s heart is through his wallet.

7. PDAIf you have “friends” who are going to make fun of you because you display affection towards a woman you care for, you need to start finding more mature friends to hang out with. Then again, how mature can you possibly be if you care about what they say?  By the way, some women don’t enjoy too much PDA – surprise!

8. Taking mental notes on things she likes. Really? I always thought that was something that came naturally when you truly care about someone, not something that required effort.

9. Joining her betting pool for “The Bachelor”.  I can’t comment on this since I have never watched that show. I hate “reality” shows. How real can anything be if there’s a camera present?

10. Not taking the blanket back after she hogs it allFirst, what makes you portray women as blanket hogs? Are you actually writing this article about a specific woman in your life?  Men, with their bigger bodies, are just as guilty of this if not more so. But here’s a thought – put an extra blanket within reach for whoever gets robbed during the night.

11. Carrying her purse. I suppose some women do that but I never would. Frankly, I find that to be a little demeaning to the guy.

around her when a sketchy guy approaches.  If you’re doing it to be protective, maybe that’s sweet.  But a lot of men do it if any guy approaches because they are territorial.

13.  Saving a plate of food or picking up takeout when she has to work lateYou consider saving a plate of food for someone you care about to be a sweet gesture?  Now you’ve got me wondering.  Would most men who aren’t trying to be sweet actually eat all of the food and leave nothing for her?  Perhaps you’ll think I’m out of my mind for asking this, but did it ever occur to you that you should wait and have dinner with her when she gets home so that she won’t have to eat alone?  That’s what I would do.

14.  Putting on the cologne you know that she likes but you don’t.  Okay, at this point, I’m really beginning to wonder – what kind of guy are you?  You can’t admit that a box is too heavy and that maybe you need a cart or that you can’t afford that pricey restaurant or that you feel stupid carrying her purse.  Now you can’t even speak up about your cologne?  Well, I suppose you’re right about one thing, you aren’t the one who’s smelling yourself.

15.  Setting her up with OnePassword.  Why do you make it seem as though women are incapable of understanding “this stuff”? I’ll let you in on a little secret: some women just pretend to be naive and unable to comprehend so that men can come to their rescue and feel so superior. I’m not favor of that either, but I have seen it happen SO many times. Sadly, my older sister happens to be an expert at this game. She has a Master’s Degree and yet has claimed to men that she can’t read a map or understand how to use a GPS and, predictably, those men have come to her rescue and ended up driving her to wherever she needs to go. She’s also been able to get men to pick up and set up her computer system, repair her car, run her errands – you name it. For the longest time, I believed that all men were stupid. Thankfully, I’ve met a few exceptions.

16.  Color-coding the remotes because she doesn’t know what they are for. See my response to number 15. By the way, if she REALLY can’t understand internet security or how to distinguish one remote from another, I’m guessing that intelligence isn’t on your list of traits that you look for in a mate.

17.  Cleaning up your beard stubble. Okay, but just don’t forget all the shaving that she has to do on more than one part of her body so that you won’t experience any scratchy surfaces either. Seriously, some guys just don’t have a clue.