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“17 Sweet Things Men Do That You Don’t Even Notice” – My Response

This is a response to an article that appeared in Woman’s Day online magazine, which originally appeared on Cosmopolitan.com. I tried to comment on the actual sites.  However, Woman’s Day and Cosmopolitan only allow those with a Facebook account to log in and comment.  I have news for you Woman’s Day and Cosmopolitan – not everyone has or wants a Facebook account.  So I decided to respond here, on my own blog site, even though I am certain that my readership pales in comparison to that of the magazine.  You can find the actual article here:  http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/news/a39806/sweet-things-guys-do-that-you-dont-even-notice/

1. Putting the toilet seat down.   This isn’t a sweet gesture – it’s simple consideration.  And since you had to put it up, why is putting it back down something so hard to remember?  Is your attention span really that short?

2.  Walking on the outside of the street.   It used to be the norm and I don’t see it happening all that much today, but for the guys who still follow this “rule of etiquette”, one point for you.  And I, for one, would notice.

3. Staying up “way too late” talking to her and paying for it the next day. Are you saying that she’s the only one who wants to have a conversation and that you’re only humoring her?  And unless you’ve only been dating unemployed women, did it ever occur to you that she, too, has to get up early the next morning?  In fact, if she wears any makeup and styles her hair, she needs to get up a lot earlier than you.

4. Holding her after a bad dream.  Are you sure you aren’t just holding her in self defense since you found it necessary to mention that you only woke up after she elbowed you in the face?  And unless you sleep like you’re in a coma, I’ll bet there have been several occasions when you’ve nearly broken her nose with your flailing arm.  The only difference is, she was having a bad dream; you were simply shifting your position in bed.  So she didn’t have any reason to hold you and comfort you.    .

5. Trying to impress with feats of strength.  If you’re in need of exhibiting physical strength beyond  your capabilities in an effort to impress a woman, you deserve that sore back.

6. Volunteering to pay even when you’re broke. If you believe that you need to spend more money than you can afford in an effort to impress a woman, you deserve to eat ramen for a week. It always ticks me off when a man assumes that the way to any woman’s heart is through his wallet.

7. PDAIf you have “friends” who are going to make fun of you because you display affection towards a woman you care for, you need to start finding more mature friends to hang out with. Then again, how mature can you possibly be if you care about what they say?  By the way, some women don’t enjoy too much PDA – surprise!

8. Taking mental notes on things she likes. Really? I always thought that was something that came naturally when you truly care about someone, not something that required effort.

9. Joining her betting pool for “The Bachelor”.  I can’t comment on this since I have never watched that show. I hate “reality” shows. How real can anything be if there’s a camera present?

10. Not taking the blanket back after she hogs it allFirst, what makes you portray women as blanket hogs? Are you actually writing this article about a specific woman in your life?  Men, with their bigger bodies, are just as guilty of this if not more so. But here’s a thought – put an extra blanket within reach for whoever gets robbed during the night.

11. Carrying her purse. I suppose some women do that but I never would. Frankly, I find that to be a little demeaning to the guy.

around her when a sketchy guy approaches.  If you’re doing it to be protective, maybe that’s sweet.  But a lot of men do it if any guy approaches because they are territorial.

13.  Saving a plate of food or picking up takeout when she has to work lateYou consider saving a plate of food for someone you care about to be a sweet gesture?  Now you’ve got me wondering.  Would most men who aren’t trying to be sweet actually eat all of the food and leave nothing for her?  Perhaps you’ll think I’m out of my mind for asking this, but did it ever occur to you that you should wait and have dinner with her when she gets home so that she won’t have to eat alone?  That’s what I would do.

14.  Putting on the cologne you know that she likes but you don’t.  Okay, at this point, I’m really beginning to wonder – what kind of guy are you?  You can’t admit that a box is too heavy and that maybe you need a cart or that you can’t afford that pricey restaurant or that you feel stupid carrying her purse.  Now you can’t even speak up about your cologne?  Well, I suppose you’re right about one thing, you aren’t the one who’s smelling yourself.

15.  Setting her up with OnePassword.  Why do you make it seem as though women are incapable of understanding “this stuff”? I’ll let you in on a little secret: some women just pretend to be naive and unable to comprehend so that men can come to their rescue and feel so superior. I’m not favor of that either, but I have seen it happen SO many times. Sadly, my older sister happens to be an expert at this game. She has a Master’s Degree and yet has claimed to men that she can’t read a map or understand how to use a GPS and, predictably, those men have come to her rescue and ended up driving her to wherever she needs to go. She’s also been able to get men to pick up and set up her computer system, repair her car, run her errands – you name it. For the longest time, I believed that all men were stupid. Thankfully, I’ve met a few exceptions.

16.  Color-coding the remotes because she doesn’t know what they are for. See my response to number 15. By the way, if she REALLY can’t understand internet security or how to distinguish one remote from another, I’m guessing that intelligence isn’t on your list of traits that you look for in a mate.

17.  Cleaning up your beard stubble. Okay, but just don’t forget all the shaving that she has to do on more than one part of her body so that you won’t experience any scratchy surfaces either. Seriously, some guys just don’t have a clue.